Justin Maxim
7 min readApr 28, 2022


Week three is here and it is time to start consuming our plants/flowers. My container is prepped and ready for my rose tea. The zoom call was pretty cool this week. Everyone is getting to know one another a little bit. We all had some interesting experiences with our opening ceremony that we shared. The lesson Ben presented this week was about making the connection with your plant and then strengthening the connection. I didn’t see much during the shamanic journey. All I really saw were colors. I saw mostly dark red and purple. At the end it turned to blue. The zoom meeting ends and I am ready to get the week started.

It is Wednesday morning and it is my first time making rose tea. I found a site called the tea spot. I didn’t even know rose could be consumed a couple weeks ago. I don’t know anyone who drinks it but someone has to. The tea spot sells it. It comes in a pretty big ass bag. You only use 3–4 petals in each cup of tea. I’ll have so much left over after these 7 weeks that I can sell the rest to Costco. I boil a cup of water and pour it into my tea strainer inside my Ohio State coffee mug. I head over to my altar, sit down with my tea and just be in the present moment.

I felt really good that day. Being off social media has actually been so damn peaceful. I haven’t mindlessly sat there and scrolled on my phone for a week now. I can not remember the last time I lived life like that. Probably since before social media apps became a thing. I have been so much more present. I went to work and it was another busy day. I was looking forward to getting home when I got off. My dreams had started to really pick up. I wanted to get home so I could end my day and get to dreaming. I was so excited for this. I finally get home and start writing in my three journals. Then I put on a sleep meditation I had been using that has been putting me out quick. Within this 35 minute meditation I felt my body start to change. I started getting the chills. I felt hot and cold at the same time. Even though I was tired I ended up not being able to fall asleep. It felt like I was now getting a fever.

Notes on exploring connection to your plant/flower

It is Thursday Morning and I hadn’t slept much. I laid in bed as long as I could until I had to go to work. I didn’t know how I was going to even make it to work. I contemplated calling off. I didn’t have an appetite either. This was a Problem too. While being on the dieta I have been in an extreme caloric deficit. This was my fault. I would have most of my meals before work. There isn’t any time to eat during a shift and it is too late to eat after work because it is then time to end my day. Generally I don’t like to eat before I train either. So I was fasting for hours on top of this. By week 3 It had started to affect me and now with this potential fever I wasn’t able to eat anything.

I made it to work and I was struggling hard. I had my temperature taken and it was at 99.8 degrees. Technically I didn’t have a fever even though my temp averages 97 degrees. I was roving this day. That basically means I was mainly a second bartender at the upstairs bar but I will help with our other bar when needed. I also do all the bitch work. We have been so busy lately that the rover doesn’t get cut early like normal. There is too much to do. It ended up being a busy night and I was basically worthless. The main bartender let me go home somewhat early. As soon as I get home I go straight to bed. I didn’t even have the energy to write in my journals. As I’m laying there, my stomach started getting active and making some noise. It wasn’t necessarily painful but I could feel my stomach knot up at times. It was hard to fall asleep again since I still had the chills. I got up a couple of times thinking I had to go to the bathroom but it was a false alarm. At some point in the night I finally fall asleep.

Notes on strengthening connection to your plant/flower

I slowly wake up into half sleep mode due to feeling something damp on my arm. I start to sit up. I notice the clock says 4:30am. The wet spot on my arm is just sweat but as I sat up I felt another wet spot all over my ass. It took me a second to realize what was going on. Then I had the sudden urge to shit. I sprint to the bathroom, hopped on the toilet and unleashed the most uncontrollable explosive diarrhea. It was like the poop scene from Dumb and Dumber where Harry gets the shits from the laxative Lloyed put in his drink. This is where I had fully realized that at 34 years old I had shit myself in my sleep and didn’t know it. I’m sitting there pissing out of my asshole. My underwear are on the floor covered in shit. I am also covered in shit in areas I couldn’t even see. Talk about a shitty situation. After I was done, I MacGyvered my body with adult wet wipes and a shower. I then had to clean my bed like I was a dog who shit in the house which wasn’t as bad as you would think. For the rest of the night I put a towel down just in case round 2 decided to go down. I felt like I was a new born baby shitting its diaper and a new dad wiping his baby’s ass for the first time all at the same time. The good news was the chills went away. The bad news was I couldn’t stop shitting. I called off work that morning. I got some medicine later in the day when I wasn’t glued to the toilet seat and by night time I felt like I was getting back to normal.

I’m sitting there pissing out of my asshole. My underwear are on the floor covered in shit. I am also covered in shit in areas I couldn’t even see. Talk about a shitty situation.

You know what my main thought was when this went down? It was this. “Man this is going to be fuckin hilarious to write about.” I was actually laughing about it and even now writing it. I think it is pure comedy so I had to include this experience in this weeks post. Despite going through this literal shit storm, I was able to get back on track. I guess I broke the diet a little. I took imodium and I needed liquids in me so I had a little bit of pedialyte, a sugar free gatorade and then water. Friday night I was able to finally eat a little bit so I had some rice with a lentil dal I made. Saturday I started feeling like myself. I worked all weekend so I decided to have this weeks ceremony on Monday.

Monday I was good to go for my ceremony. I get my rose tea, put on my hour long music and begin. I’m in a deep meditative state. Once my music stopped I threw on the shamanic drumming. The vision I would have was really confusing. I was some kind of warrior who was fighting what seemed to be a war. I had long blonde hair that was in a pony tail. It almost resembled a Thor like character. I seemed super human. I was flying around fighting in different worlds. Out of no where this gargantuan red being pops up in front of me. It was all red and its body kind of looked like the marshmellow man. It’s head was round and looked like a welder’s helmet in the front. It wasn’t scary to me though. I was ready to whoop its ass. It said a few things and then yelled “STAY PUT!” It was so loud that it woke me up out of the meditative state and the shamanic drumming was starting to end at the same time.

I wasn’t sure what this vision meant. Maybe the being was telling me to stay on this path I am currently on. Do not go back to the old habits I had before I started this course. I am still not sure. This was a very different vision than any of my other ones. This seemed way more masculine than anything else I have experienced so far. I assumed working with rose that it was feminine. It made me think that all these plants/flowers are not feminine or masculine but contain both energies just like men and women do. Fuck around with a mom’s kids and I bet you will see some masculine energy come out. Despite how the week started I think it ended well. Week three was done and I was ready to finally get a full week in with no man cold or the bubble guts.

To be continued…



Justin Maxim

I am a creative who not long ago decided to try writing. Usually I am behind a camera but writing is another way I can express myself in a creative way.