The end of the course is approaching fast. It is officially week six. I wrote down some notes from week five I wanted to share on our weekly zoom call. I talked about some of the things I have been journaling about. Most of it was just thoughts going forward for after this whole course is over. Integration is actually what week seven is all about. I was naturally already thinking about it. This week was all about actually ending our diets. It is reflection time for everything we have experienced up to this point. I have been following this strict diet for a little more than 6 weeks now since I started early. I have started reflecting on my experiences and I think I am ready for the end of the diet.
Ending the diet didn’t mean we just go out and shovel a bunch of dog shit into our word curtians. There was a process to follow while ending these diets. First it was up to each individual when they wanted to end their diet. Once a day was decided on then you would have one more ceremony like we have been doing to officially close the diet out. The plant/flower we have been working with is now a part of us. We can unplug from it. New tools have been programmed in us that we can use now. I look at it as like a software upgrade that has been downloading over the last 6 weeks and is now complete. I decided I would hold my last ceremony as soon as the zoom call ended. I was just feeling it at the time and it felt right to me. The zoom call ended and I prepared my rose tea as usual. I lit the candles, threw on a song, and started my last journey of this course.
I felt good as usual after my ceremony. It is funny because I was getting groceries before the zoom call that day. I bought my favorite sandwich from whole foods called a TTLA that I would usually get quite often. They had it pre-made which they never do at this location. I didn’t know at the time I would be breaking my diet that day. I figured I would break my diet with it in a few days depending on what Ben had to say during our meeting. When my ceremony ended I was hesitant to eat the sandwich. I was reading the nutrition label and was thinking “man, I really don’t need this.” I started meal prepping for the week and after a few minutes I decided to just eat half of the sandwich and see how I felt afterwards. I felt ok. I saved the other half for work the next day.
The first half of the week I was nervous to really break my diet fully. I feel so good and clean that I really didn’t want to eat any junk. The only thing that would really change for me is little things like cooking with a little oil. I am able to consume some more calories compared to what I have been consuming. One day I had this thought. I thought that I needed to test myself and this new discipline I have created. I went to the store and got stuff to make my go to sandwiches. I also bought a bag of chips to go with them. These two things were always a comfort food going back into my child hood. I wanted to see how it made me feel and if it had the same pull on me. Guess what? It didn’t have the same effect as it used to. Instead of pounding the whole bag of chips in one sitting, I was able to make it last a couple days. Even when I finished them I knew that I didn’t need them anymore. They tasted like shit. It is not what my body wants and I am able to finally listen to it. I continued to meal prep my usual foods I ate during the dieta and always have fruit to snack on.
Now that it has almost been a week since the diet ended, not much has changed. I haven’t had food cravings at all really since week three. I am still taking the food transition slow. Sure I will eat some unhealthy things occasionally here soon but I am in no rush. I am also in no rush to get back on social media. I have youtube back but that is about it. I do not plan on getting on instagram until I finish all of my blogs. That may be the only app that I get back. I don’t really feel like I need the other ones. I will also be using an app blocker to limit my app use. I had this before however on IOS it was too easy to override the apps when I was locked out of them. I want one more strict. I will be without internet for two months until I move into a new place. My integration with tech is also slow but I am completely ok with that as well.
That is all I really have to share for week six. Everything else has basically been the same. My dreams are still active every night. I still have my end the day routine going. I think I will work in some meditation into a routine as well. They may not be an hour long but maybe some short ones like I used to do every day. Next week I will write about my final thoughts on this course and how it changed me. I will talk about my favorite parts of the course. How I plan to integrate my new tools and what my plans are going forward after this. I have one more zoom call left and the course will officially be over.
To be continued…